He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
