lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
