At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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