Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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