Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
