So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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