Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
