He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
