I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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