Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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