I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
