Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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