Moan for me like Helen Keller
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
