He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I pour the whiskey from now on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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