youre lurking in front of me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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