Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think your dad took our porno
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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