i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
