But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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