New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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