Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
