Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
