I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
