im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
