Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
