Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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