I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've blown a few things in my day
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
