so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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