I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
