I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
