Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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