I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
