sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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