wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
