I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
