I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
