I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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