You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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