it wasn't lemon gatorade
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
