do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
