yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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