You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
