I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
