Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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