She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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