you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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