Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
