Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
