this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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