Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
MIDGETS
????
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
