You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
